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100 word challenge – By Ruby

Posted by: | February 11, 2016 | 10 Comments |

Rachel froze. Every part of her body ached. Warm, salty tears flooded down her face, a blur of emotion spun in her head.” You!” she stuttered.
“Please I did it for you,”. Rachel just stered. the woman gingerly smiled, flashing gleaming ,pristine teath.
“ This is to much. ”Rachel collapsed on the floor, never dropping her gaze
“N…No I can’t” the womans face paled with hurt. Rachel was overwhelmed.
She scrunched up her eyes and pinched herself. She was surprised to see it wasn’t a dream. Anger seered her body because this was a person she’d never forgive, who was never their for me: her mother.

under: Computing, English, Literacy, Quadblogging
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10 Comments

  1. By: Ari on February 17, 2016 at 4:35 pm      

    Hi Ruby! The main thing I liked about your writing is that you had SO MUCH DETAIL! I also liked how you used “N…No” It makes it so realistic! I have a question, what does pristine mean? At the end I liked how you incorporated your own life in this story! Overall this story is awesome!!!

    • By: Ruby on February 25, 2016 at 2:57 pm      

      Hi, I am glad you liked my story it was very fun to write! The word pristine means very shiny and clean also quite spotless it was the only thing I could think of when I was writing it. Have you tried the hundred word challenge?

    • By: Ruby on March 4, 2016 at 3:36 pm      

      My friend just read over it I didn’t mean to write me. My mum is always there for me! It was a typo and I meant to write ‘her’. The story isn’t about me! Sorry.!!!

  2. By: Chris on February 26, 2016 at 9:17 pm      

    Hello, I like how you use a lot of detail. I also like how you make the story so touching. I also like how you use some of the five senses. I look forward to any stories you might make later.

  3. By: Brooke B. on February 28, 2016 at 3:36 am      

    Hi!
    I’m Brooke. I really liked your story! The best thing I liked about it is how you used a lot of detail to describe what is going on, and/or how the character is feeling. I’m glad I’m assigned to you, and I look forward t see more of your blogs!

    • By: Ruby on March 4, 2016 at 3:48 pm      

      Thank you! I am glad I am assigned to you to it looks lke yo like books.

  4. By: Adam and William on February 29, 2016 at 3:51 pm      

    That is great! Its very interesting and cool 🙂

  5. By: elodie on March 2, 2016 at 12:46 pm      

    I LOVE YOUR WORK! IT IS OUTSTANDING!

  6. By: Mads on March 4, 2016 at 3:45 pm      

    Hey Ruby!
    I really think that your work is AMAZING! I loved the fact that you included SO much detail in every single EPIC sentence! I also think that the best part was where you really touch the person who reads it (or at least, you really touched me!) It is an extremely emotional piece of writing.

    From Mads!

  7. By: Maddie from 6b on March 31, 2016 at 2:11 pm      

    I really hope one day that you become an author! WHAT WOULD YOUR BOOKS BE LIKE AND WHO WOULD THEY BE FOR? WOULD YOU RATHER BE CALLED RUBY MOSS OR WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME? I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FANTASTICLY AMAZING WRITING! PLEASE GIVE ME A REPLY AND I JUST NEEDED TO ASK YOU IF YOU BASED THIS STORY ON YOUR OWN LIFE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE EXTREMELY TOUCHING TO MY HEART. IN THE END, WHAT HAPPENED? DID RACHEL DIE? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER DAUGHTER? PLEASE COULD YOU WRITE A BOOK FOR ME ? THAT IS ALL FROM ME, MADS.

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